he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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