Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
