If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
and she was petting her beer can
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
