i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
