My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
