I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize