Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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