Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you traded sex for a burrito?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
