i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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