i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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