Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
