he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize