Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize