it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Randomize
