A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
