just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i was born a porn star she said
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He better not be in your backpack
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
