whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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