I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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