I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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