hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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