he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
