Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
