It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize