He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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