i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
