she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize