My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
