did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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