new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
