I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
