Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
