How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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