I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize