Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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