well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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