hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
