I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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