So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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