piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
