Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
