He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
