Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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