Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
