I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
This is classic penis vs brain.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
