It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
