i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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