hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
