Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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