mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
