omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
