PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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