she was so not down for the gang bang
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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