I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
