I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
