mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize