Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
