I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
