I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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