He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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