You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
