She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
