I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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