I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
